Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Pea-NUTS

From the start of school, we were warned of the dire
consequences of sending peanut products to school.
Apparently there are a few students for whom peanuts
are the equivalent of sarin gas...or so the school would
have us believe.

"No peanut butter anywhere in the building!"

Then, one day, in a moment of weakness and panic
while trying to find something for my son to eat that day
(because he hated the lunch they were serving but
didn't think to mention it until three minutes before the
bus was coming), I said, "How about a peanut butter
sandwich?"

"DAD, we're not allowed to bring peanut butter to school.
We can only buy it in the cafe."

WHAT???

Yes, it turns out the school won't let you bring it in, but they
sell it. Apparently THEY can control the scent, the essence,
the oil...whatever...of the peanuts but nobody else can.

I'm thinking they've added epipens to the usual arsenal of
forks and spoons...?

Maybe someone needs to test these kids who are "allergic"
again, now that they aren't babies anymore. I'm not suggesting
harming the kids, but it's kind of like this:

If the other guy passes out, you just do half. Then call the
paramedics.

8 Comments:

Blogger Admin said...

That's like movie theaters that won't let you bring in your own candy, but insist you buy it there at outrageously inflated prices. I say, smuggle the candy into the theater, and smuggle the peanut butter sandwich into the school. You could always disguise it with banana slices or marshmallow Fluff around the edges. ;)

12:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's a thought, Jane. But peanut butter has a very distinctive smell. And I wonder what the powers-that-be do when they catch a kid with "contraband"....

"Peanut butter: the new marijuana"

10:23 AM  
Blogger Chatty said...

As someone who works in a school, it kills me that I can not eat peanut butter. It's my favorite.

Michele sent me...NH huh? Me too.

1:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, Chatty. Thanks for stopping by. Yes, NH - "Live Free"...how about those property taxes?? D'oh!

1:18 PM  
Blogger Admin said...

What about Nutella? That's chocolate and hazelnut. I've never heard of anyone screaming about being deathly allergic to a whiff of slightly odd-smelling chocolate. No doubt the school would confiscate it anyway, falsely claiming that it's peanut butter, even though it's totally the wrong color, regardless of the label on the jar.

Oh, the hypocrisy of selling peanut butter on site, but not allowing it in the front entrance. Maybe there's a decontamination chamber right off the cafeteria that only school administrators and the lunch lady know about?

4:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha! I can't imagine the horrible things that only the lunch lady knows!

8:17 PM  
Blogger Bud said...

I really don't get this. I taught for 34 years and didnt run into this peanut thing until around 2000. Who says there is no evolution?

7:13 AM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

That is just SCARY. A few kids are allergic and Peter Pan Crunchy Peanut Butter for the rest of the school is outlawed???

Who says Politically Correct isn't a good thing ;-)

8:35 PM  

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