Quotes From The Golf Course

Sept 25 2005

"My marriage has reached a new low. I just spent $75 on
a leather bra - and it's for my motorcycle."

...and a bumper sticker seen on the way home:

"If you didn't get tattooed at Dragon's Lair Tattoo....
you fucking suck"

Well, OK, then....

"Push, Mrs. Weaver! Push, Mrs. Spinner!"

I'm sure you've seen the people in the supermarkets who
just rove slowly in the way?

Or the people who seem to stay in one spot in the aisle
with their cart, spinning it around as if they're caught
in some kind of vortex?

My theory is that their mothers pushed them into the
world at the precise moment that would allow them
to be in MY way on a given day.

But maybe that's a bit "Mr. L-centric"..... :)

Subconscious Bookmark

This morning, when I tried to wake my son up,
he got mad and told me, "I wasn't finished with
my dream!!" and went back to sleep. When, and
only when, the dream is complete can he get out
of bed.

He's done this before.

The weird thing is: later, he can tell you the dream
- including the part where you rudely interrupted
it - from start to finish.

Is he making it all up, or can he really bookmark
his dreams?

"Thank a Teacher"

But don't thank an administrator......

Here's part of a letter sent home by
the principal of my son's school:

"The School District Relief Committee to help
children and families impacted by Katerina has established
a fundraising effort with two purposes:

1. To help children and families who have been displaced
and have resettled in the community.
2. To supports to rebuild the education infrastructure of one
or more communities devastated by the storm."


"Impacted"? "Katerina"? "to supports to"?
I don't think I should trust these people to make decisions
regarding my child's education!

Maybe we can send food and clothes, and in return, they can
send us English teachers - or editors....

When I'm Wrong, I'm Wrong

Here I was, just yesterday, thinking the gov't would
try to exploit the situation in New Orleans.

I was wrong. They've decided to keep on hammering
away with their old issue....

This morning, we were treated to a 2-minute mention
of New Orleans - followed by 10 minutes of "September
the Eleventh!!!!....the terrsts....September the Eleventh....
terrsts....".

I guess it's all they've got.

Very sad.

It's ALL Katrina's Fault

Actual headline:
"Economy was looking good before hurricane"....

It was? A headline a couple of weeks ago said
"standard of living drops for 4th consecutive
year".

Get ready for a lot of this. Everything that goes wrong
for the next three years will be Katrina's fault.
"A force of nature that no one could have forseen...",
blah blah blah.... just like 9/11, this will be exploited
to....what, give tax breaks to the wealthy? Probably.

Sickening.

All Depends On How They're Playing....

If you watch a Boston Red Sox home game on
television, you will see advertising displayed
on the wall behind the batter. It changes from
inning to inning.

When a left-handed batter is at the plate, and
the ad for Giant Glass is up, all you can see
(wrapping around the batter!) is:

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"GIANT ASS"
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