Is it "Gwen" Flavoured??

The Gwen Stefani chocolate bar. I'm not sure I'll ever eat this . . .

The Family Horse

About 20 years ago, I was in a pub (if you can imagine me being in such an
establishment), and there was a guy making things out of pipe cleaners. I asked
him if he could make a horse, and this was the result. Interesting that he chose to
make it "anatomically correct". . .

Winter Joke

Q: Why do women like New England weather forecasters?

A: Because when they say you'll get five inches, you
actually get eleven.


D'oh! I'm just bitter about shoveling my driveway three times
in the last 24 hours. Pardon me for "working blue". . .

5 Degrees

No, I'm not talking about how many acquaintances I'd have to
go through to be associated with a famous celebrity. . . I'm talking
about my hatred for winter here in the northeast!

After the traditional "howling dog awakening" at 6:03 this morning,
I decided that it "sounded" cold outside. (Is this something exclusive
to me, or does anyone else hear the temperature???)

I decided to turn on the television and find out just how bad it was
outside. Here's what I got: "5°F, 41% humidity."

Fabulous! Just great. . .

I started to think about my day - one car is in the shop getting a brake
job (but it's not ready), and the other car in the driveway needs to
have its windshield replaced today at 11 a.m., but not at the same
place. The first car is only around the corner, but the other shop is,
well. . . I don't even know yet. Somewhere near a coffee shop, I
hope!

And I can't find my gloves anywhere. I think they're in one of the
cars.

Anyway, all of these repairs are due to the fact that my birthday is
this month. That's when your car registrations renew here. So, of
course, that's when everything goes wrong with your cars! The
cracked windshield didn't happen until last week. The brakes. . .
well, they pull the wheels off your car as part of the inspection
process, so you can't skate on that. Hey, who needs brakes?
Double up on my accelerator power, I say!

So, let's see. . .where was I? At 7 a.m. I attempted to rouse Master
L from bed. His response was a casual "EH!" accompanied by a
dismissive wave of his hand. Can't say I blame him, but still.
It took another forty minutes before His Majesty arose and
commanded "Cereal!" before nestling under more blankets on
the couch.

We're off to a fine start.

Mrs. L Takes On Sarah Silverman....I Lose!

The scene:
Mrs. L and I are sitting around watching television.
An ad for "The Sarah Silverman Show" comes on.

Mr. L : "Oh, yeah....I forgot to watch that the other night."

Mrs. L : "Why would you bother? We watched part of the first
one and it wasn't even funny."

Mr. L : "Well, I don't know. It's kind of like....it wasn't really
funny, but there was a weird thing - like, when she was in the
store and was drinking out of the medicine bottles to decide which
one to buy, and spitting out the bad tasting ones onto the floor.
It's not 'funny', but there's some kind of ... 'thing' about it.
I don't know. Maybe it's the same reason men grow up liking
'The Three Stooges' but women can't stand them....."

Mrs. L : "Ahhhh....the 'guy' part of your brain. I thought I'd
killed that."

Mr. L : "...nice."

6 a.m. Haiku

The neighbour's dogs howl
And SHE'S not much more quiet
Muzzles all around!!!!