Celebrate - It's Almost Over

Master L's school had their annual "Celebration of
Learning" this week. Or, as I like to call it,
"Celibate! Shun Learning" -- in honour of the
teacher, who seems to have a perpetual stick up
her ass. I can't stand the woman. If the "end tenure"
movement had a poster, she'd be on it. Gah.....it
drives me mad just thinking about her getting paid
to NOT teach my kid while she waits however many
years until her lucrative retirement package kicks in.

I know, I know: "Teachers are underpaid."

Well, the ones that actually TEACH certainly are. But
these lazy old union dinosaurs are a disgrace to the
profession.

I can't wait for Master L to be out of her class and away
from her influence. She did more damage than good.
May she rot in hell. Well....I'll stop there, because "if
you can't say anything nice", and all. And I think I
might say something negative if I keep writing.

Tonight we get to go to the local minor league baseball
game. Master L "won" tickets at school in some way
that is still unclear to me....I think it had something to
do with reading, but he wasn't big on the details. And
doesn't like to be pressed. Well, OK, we've got four
tickets to the game.....they're giving away T-shirts....
and I guess we'll be eating hot dogs for dinner.
MMM.....park hot dogs. I think it's the salmonella
that makes them taste so much better than the
one you make at home.

Well, that's it. My brain just shut off.....the end.

"Fuzzy Math"

The other day, I saw a news story about gas prices.

"The public is unhappy that gas prices have risen
85% over the last five years," the "reporter" said.

Hmm....well, I can't verify their sources (but I suspect
they work at the White House). There is a picture
in one of my earlier posts that shows a local gas
station that went out of business in the spring of
2001. The price on the sign (still up there even
today) for a price of a gallon of regular gas is
$1.08.

My math skills - which I'm certain are less "creative"
than the government's or the news agencies' who
seem to be in the government's employ - tell me
that in the last SIX years gas prices have increased
178%, based on the $3 per gallon regular gas on
sale in my area today.

["Facts are funny things." -- Ronald Reagan]

"I'm sorry - the company wants us to hold the card.."

Roughly twenty-five years ago, in a period I like to call
"The God-Forsaken 80s", I worked in a record store.
Yes - records. Big discs made of vinyl/plastic. When
we got in the first few CDs, no one knew what they
were, and the girls who were cashiers basically used
them as makeup mirrors since the few discs we had
were stored in the glass display case at the front of the
store. Anyway....

The store was located in Harvard Square in Cambridge
Massachusetts. Most of the customers were college
students who attended either Harvard or Radcliffe.
Many of these "kids" would come into the store,
grab dozens of items, and present a credit card
that belonged to one of their parents. I know, it
was a simpler time and all....but it was still not
really legal to use another person's credit card. I
think most stores would simply take the cards
and assume it would be alright, but I NEVER
accepted any card that didn't belong to the person
presenting it. And you wouldn't BELIEVE the way
some of these young "adults" would act! I think the
reaction was what Frank Zappa meant by "a
petulant frenzy":

Me: "I'm sorry, I can't take this. It doesn't belong
to you."

Spoiled Ivy League Legacy Student: "WHAT!? YOU
HAVE TO ACCEPT IT! IT BELONGS TO MY
FATHER!!!"

Big scene, every time. I used to enjoy it. But I never
took a card if the owner wasn't present. These people
would get all indignant, throw temper tantrums,
threaten to "report me", threaten to "have me fired",
etc. A few times, I called the card company for
approval and they asked me to hold the card.
Ah, the looks on the faces were priceless.

I remembered these kids and the way they acted
as I was watching a certain "president" get all huffy
because his "credit card" was not being accepted
without question. Oh, no! Responsibility!
Accountability! Has a "bad parent" taken away his
"freedom"????

Which also got me thinking about what's going to
happen if the "energy terrsts" loose control of the
country in the next election. Will "The Patriot Act"
stand? Or, will it be exposed for the lame fraud
it was - designed only so this administration would
have NO LAWS TO ABIDE - when in the last days
of power we hear the phrase "Mission Accomplished"
again and the Act is removed by decree so the next
president can't use it?? [well, unless he's a Republican
and a good friend of the family]

Will that prove that the "Mission" was to rule without
constitutional oversight?

I don't know who will win the next election. Frankly,
I can't stand any of the declared candidates on either
side. But, it's all we've got.

Unfortunately, most of those Ivy League kids I had
to deal with back in the GF80s are now probably just
about the right age to be running for office.

Quick, Ma, Junior's comin'. Hide the credit cards!

Questions/Answers

I recently decided to allow myself to be questioned
by a fellow blogger. The fine folks, er, folk...wait, what
IS the singular tense of that word??? Never mind.
Lucky Star asked the questions.

Now, normally, I shy away from being interviewed. In fact,
if I've recently declined YOUR request, please don't be
offended. There. I knew you'd be OK. It's just that I've
been suffering from a seasonal meme allergy, you see.

Really, I thought the questions would be a bit more
personal, given the source (LOL), but that's fine.
Here's all the excitement for you:

Q: Tell us about your musical career. When did you start
playing, do you sing, what do you play, where do you play,
how do you play...uh...you get
the idea.

A: Career....now that's a funny word. Well, you didn't say
"lucrative", so I guess it's OK. I was lured into music by the
Beatles, Cream and Jimi Hendrix in the late 60s (via my
brother's record collection).

Maybe my mother saying, "A musician? So, ya

wanna be a bum, like ya brutha!?!" helped push me.

I can also recall listening to the end of the song "Long, Long,
Long" by the Beatles on the stereo in the basement of my
childhood home in late 1968 and my mother yelling down
the stairs, "He moans like that 'cuz he's on drugs, ya know!!"
Cool!!! Score another point! LOL!

[side note: the next year, I got in trouble with Mom for
blasting "Cold Turkey" at high volume. "But, Mom, it
says 'Play Loud' right on the record!!".....she wasn't having
it. Her opinion of the song? "If he doesn't like cold turkey,
why does he eat it??" .... she couldn't have been THAT
naive....could she? ]

So, anyway - it was inevitable that I would start picking up
my brother's guitar every chance I could get. He decided to
"fix" that by explaining to me that there was a glut of guitar
players in the world, but not so many bass players.....oh,
and his friend Peter just happened to have a spare bass I
could use. Ta da....I was a bass player....well, kinda.....
I don't know WHAT my excuse is today....

Over the course of my life, I also learned guitar and tinkered
with bouzouki, Chapman Stick, mandolin, charango.....if it
has strings, I'm game. Much to the chagrin of Mrs. L, who
has to put up with it.

I sing when forced. I'm much more comfortable providing
harmonies than singing lead because like any good self-loathing
artist, I'm unimpressed with my own voice. One of the bands
I'm in at the moment has decided they want me to do MORE
singing....ugh.

I'll leave the "how I play" alone.....some things are private!! ;)

Q: As a child, what was one of your favorite games?

A: Does a rocking horse count? I wore out the springs on mine.
As far as "games" games, I remember playing "Skittle Ball" for
hours on end. I think that's what it was called....it was a
"bowling" game with a wooden ball on a chain that you had to
swing around to knock over the wooden pins.

Q: What was your first concert?

A: George Harrison at Boston Garden, 1974....early show.

One of my cousins got "better" seats than the ones he
originally bought, so I got his original tickets. Problem was,
I wasn't old enough to drive yet. There was no way either
of my parents were taking me....they were in the early
stages of a long, nasty divorce. My older brother was
living in Los Angeles at the time, which was

not convenient for a Boston show. So, I called up one of my

brother's old high-school friends. This was the day before the

show I think. I asked him if he could take me to a concert....

and he responded with the non-enthusiasm you'd expect
from someone getting a call from their old friend's "kid" brother.

He was hemming and hawing. Probably trying to think of

a "nice" way out. And then I told him it was the George

Harrison show. "OF COURSE! SURE!! I'd LOVE to take

you..........you REALLY have tickets?!?"

Then he made me promise not to ask anyone else, because he

was DEFINITELY taking me....

The next afternoon he showed up at my house and asked
"to see the tickets", as if he still didn't believe I had them.
And away we went to Boston Garden. On the way there,
we heard on the radio that Ravi Shankar was not feeling well
and may not perform his opening slot. Which sucked, because
even then, I liked Indian music. A LOT!

We arrived at the Garden. There were joints being passed
down the admission line. My brother's friend didn't partake....
probably because I was there, but I wouldn't have cared nor
ratted him out - but he probably wasn't sure. But can you
imagine such a scene occurring NOW, INSIDE a venue??

Then it turned out that Ravi Shankar DID play the afternoon show,

but later bowed out of the evening show. Woo hoo!

And of course, George.....well, he was always a musical hero, so

I loved the show (though his voice was a bit hoarse on this tour).

My brother's friend even gave me a ride HOME, after he'd already

gotten into the show. How's that for being a sport?? LOL

Q: If you could make one change to restructure American politics,
what would it be?

A: No millionaires allowed. And anyone whose personal fortune
grows exponentially while in office will be executed the day after
their term expires.

It's funny that I have less to say about that than my first concert!!

Q: What is the furthest you've ever traveled from home?

A: Acapulco, but this summer I'm going to Europe,

which will win out by 800 miles or so. And hopefully, when I
return, I won't have to spend two hours in the airport
bathroom, like when I returned from Acapulco!!

Wasn't that thrilling? Aren't I an interesting interviewee??

Heh - well, it was way more interesting than the
"nothing" I've been posting recently. So, thanks go to
Lucky Star.

The Week, The Shriek

Last week started off just fine. Mrs. L and I went on
a "date", out for dinner and a concert by ourselves.
As much as we love Master L, his presence does make
having a conversation difficult. He has to interject any
time there's more than a one-second gap in the discussion.
No "enjoying the space" for our boy.

We saw Jez Lowe and the Bad Pennies. As the show
progressed, Mrs. L said, "These two are married,
right?", meaning Jez Lowe and the violinist,
Kate Bramley. I said, "Yes....but how did you
know that?", and she said, "You can just tell."

Women. Signals. Everything MEANS something!
We men stand no chance whatsoever!!! LOL!

Actually, the chances that night were VERY good,
but that's a whole other story.....

Moving on.....

We took Master L to a homeschooling class to check it
out, since we're completely frustrated with the public
school he is in right now. It was a "creative writing"
class and it was pretty cool. Then we went to the
park with all the homeschoolers. Master L had a
good time and wants to do homeschooling, but
we're not sure yet.

Stuff like this helps push us, though....more actual
homework from his Useless Teacher:

"Directions: Write <, >, or = in each box to complete
the problems.

[skipping down to problem 4 ]

4. 50% [_] 6"



I kid you not - there was no OTHER information for the
problem!! Is it ME?!?! Can that problem possibly
make ANY sense as written??? By "50%", did she
think she meant the number ".5" ?? Because....it's
NOT the same thing!!!!

ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Our tax dollars, on break.