The Lost Wedding Ring
Right after I got married, I had a hard time adjusting
to wearing a ring. I never wore any kind of jewelry
at all, and it felt very strange on my hand. I had to
adjust my guitar/bass playing technique to learn
not to knock the fretboard with the ring.
Aside from that, it just felt tight around the finger.
It probably didn't help that my wife's maid-of-honour,
at the reception table after the wedding, applied a bit
of pressure on the ring while making a "sssss" sound
and mentioned something about "branding". Heh.
Anyway, the thing was driving me crazy. I finally went
to the jewelry store and had them stretch the ring a bit.
SWEET RELIEF. It didn't hurt anymore. YAY!
This was in the summer.
A month and a half later, I had a fill-in gig with
a band I didn't really know that well.
I was also working 3rd shift to cover for someone
on vacation. So after the gig (probably 3 a.m.), I
was driving up the long road to the building,
with my arm hanging out the window.
It was a cool, fall evening.
And THEN . . . I felt the ring start to slip off my hand.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I heard it
hit the road and bounce and roll . . . TING! TING! . . .
I could actually see it in the rear-view mirror, happily
bounding along the road, gleaming and twinkling in
the reflected glow of the streetlights. And then I saw it hop
OFF the road and into the grass and weeds. All of this
happened at about 45 mph.
I stopped the car. I went back to the spot where I'd seen
the ring exit the street and searched for a few minutes.
No ring. But it was dark. I'd find it in the morning.
Right? RIGHT??
No. I wouldn't.
Mr. L : "Honey, I've got something to tell you."
Mrs. L : "What?"
Mr. L : "Well . . I was driving up the street to work with my arm
out the window and my ring fell off. I looked for it for an
hour this morning but I couldn't find it."
Mrs. L : "So. You're telling me you were at a bar until
2 a.m. with a bunch of people I've never met. Then out
all night "working". And you've come home an hour late
from "work" WITHOUT your wedding ring, but everything's
fine?"
Mr. L : "Um, yes."
Mrs. L : "Uh, huh."
Well. THAT went well.
I went out and bought a replacement. (No - I didn't overstretch this
one!!)
THEN, it dawned on me. I went to the hardware store and bought
a metal spacer the same size as my ring. Yes, I was trying them on,
checking for size and weight ! I found one that matched my wedding
band for those qualities, and planned for my experiment.
On Saturday morning (I didn't want any pesky "security" looking into
my highly scientific experiment) I put the plan into action.
I drove up the private street where my place of work was located.
I hung my arm out of the car window. I checked my speed: 45 mph.
As I passed the point where I remembered the horror beginning,
I let the shiny spacer slide from my fingers.
I watched the spacer bounce along the road - bounce, bounce,
roll, bounce - and then go OFF the road, into the grass and weeds.
YES.
I went back to the spot and combed the area. The spacer was
nowhere to be found.
I did, however, locate an inscribed gold wedding band.
I went home and told Mrs. L of my scientific outing: how I had
picked a ring-shaped object of similar size/shape, driven at the
same speed, and actually located the missing item. I thought
she'd admire my genius, or at least my dogged persistence
to find the ring.
Her response?
"She finally calmed down and gave it back to you, huh?"
to wearing a ring. I never wore any kind of jewelry
at all, and it felt very strange on my hand. I had to
adjust my guitar/bass playing technique to learn
not to knock the fretboard with the ring.
Aside from that, it just felt tight around the finger.
It probably didn't help that my wife's maid-of-honour,
at the reception table after the wedding, applied a bit
of pressure on the ring while making a "sssss" sound
and mentioned something about "branding". Heh.
Anyway, the thing was driving me crazy. I finally went
to the jewelry store and had them stretch the ring a bit.
SWEET RELIEF. It didn't hurt anymore. YAY!
This was in the summer.
A month and a half later, I had a fill-in gig with
a band I didn't really know that well.
I was also working 3rd shift to cover for someone
on vacation. So after the gig (probably 3 a.m.), I
was driving up the long road to the building,
with my arm hanging out the window.
It was a cool, fall evening.
And THEN . . . I felt the ring start to slip off my hand.
And there was nothing I could do to stop it. I heard it
hit the road and bounce and roll . . . TING! TING! . . .
I could actually see it in the rear-view mirror, happily
bounding along the road, gleaming and twinkling in
the reflected glow of the streetlights. And then I saw it hop
OFF the road and into the grass and weeds. All of this
happened at about 45 mph.
I stopped the car. I went back to the spot where I'd seen
the ring exit the street and searched for a few minutes.
No ring. But it was dark. I'd find it in the morning.
Right? RIGHT??
No. I wouldn't.
Mr. L : "Honey, I've got something to tell you."
Mrs. L : "What?"
Mr. L : "Well . . I was driving up the street to work with my arm
out the window and my ring fell off. I looked for it for an
hour this morning but I couldn't find it."
Mrs. L : "So. You're telling me you were at a bar until
2 a.m. with a bunch of people I've never met. Then out
all night "working". And you've come home an hour late
from "work" WITHOUT your wedding ring, but everything's
fine?"
Mr. L : "Um, yes."
Mrs. L : "Uh, huh."
Well. THAT went well.
I went out and bought a replacement. (No - I didn't overstretch this
one!!)
THEN, it dawned on me. I went to the hardware store and bought
a metal spacer the same size as my ring. Yes, I was trying them on,
checking for size and weight ! I found one that matched my wedding
band for those qualities, and planned for my experiment.
On Saturday morning (I didn't want any pesky "security" looking into
my highly scientific experiment) I put the plan into action.
I drove up the private street where my place of work was located.
I hung my arm out of the car window. I checked my speed: 45 mph.
As I passed the point where I remembered the horror beginning,
I let the shiny spacer slide from my fingers.
I watched the spacer bounce along the road - bounce, bounce,
roll, bounce - and then go OFF the road, into the grass and weeds.
YES.
I went back to the spot and combed the area. The spacer was
nowhere to be found.
I did, however, locate an inscribed gold wedding band.
I went home and told Mrs. L of my scientific outing: how I had
picked a ring-shaped object of similar size/shape, driven at the
same speed, and actually located the missing item. I thought
she'd admire my genius, or at least my dogged persistence
to find the ring.
Her response?
"She finally calmed down and gave it back to you, huh?"
posted by Mr. L at 8:42 PM
7 Comments:
Wow... This is TOO weird. LG lost his ring "somewhere at work". He claims it fell off and he didn't notice it was gone until it was "really" gone. Hmmm. That happened last year. So he got a replacement for our first anniversary.
But hell, he didn't do a scientific experiment like yours. Do you think after a year it's too late to try experimenting... in an office building?
(You're a good husband!)
Did you give him a snide comment, or were you hardened by the previous marriages and expected this kind of thing? ;)
I'd say he had NO chance of finding it in an office building, within minutes of it falling off.
Maybe every bride should have her husband-to-be's ring inscribed, "If found, call..."
Hehe like that story. My husband in the beginning said he didn;t wear jewelry but he never takes his wedding ring off! He says he;s so used to it on.
What a wonderfully strange story. What a lovely husband you are :)
Hahaha. That was great! Good thinking 99! You are a very clever man...
Thanks for dropping by my site.
Cheers. :)
Thanks for the email and well wishes!
My fiance had similar issues with the tightness on his finger. He said something about the possiblity of the ring needing to come off in a emergency and that he was worried the doctors would need to amputate his finger to get the ring off and save his life. Um...whatever honey.
We got it resized 3 times. The second time he felt comfortable in it, but after shaking his hand vigorously the ring flew off. It hit the ceiling and then landed hard on one of the glass cases in the jewelry store. The two sales ladies jumped and screamed. I laughed and told him he was going to need it resized.
Here's to hoping that ring is comfortable on him come June 4...and that he doesn't ever shake his hand like that again!
Now I only take mine off when it smokes and makes hissing sounds!! ;)
KVB: If I got used to it, I'm sure he will too!
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