My Kind of People...
I went down to the local supermarket last night.
It was a typical time for me to be at the store, around
11:30 p.m.
I had to use the bathroom, so I went there first and took
my position at the . . . urinal . . . OK, I said it, let's move
on. Then a guy came in behind me and went into the
stall (the only other place available then). Then I heard
a big slam (sounded like the toilet seat), followed by
a loud "OW!!!!!"
Then, as I was washing my hands, the guy came out of the
stall and said, "So THAT'S what those are for . . ."
I have NO idea what he meant.
Then, in the parking lot, two girls were having a very
loud, very graphic discussion about bloody underwear,
right down to a description of the offending stain.
O . . . K . . .
Awhile ago, I noticed that this one guy was at virtually
EVERY concert I attended. My wife and I could scan the
crowd and sure enough, we'd see the guy. He would
usually be rocking in his seat and giving the "devil horn"
sign with his right hand at weird moments (is there really
an appropriate moment?). Thing was, he'd be at rock shows.
He'd be at folk shows. Whatever. I told Mrs. L, "Maybe the
guy is stalking me" . . .
She said, "He probably thinks YOU'RE stalking HIM."
Which is when it hit me: all the times that I'm in a crowd
and thinking, "Wow, what a weird bunch . . . "
THOSE are my peers. In the words of Astro, "Ruh, roh!"
It was a typical time for me to be at the store, around
11:30 p.m.
I had to use the bathroom, so I went there first and took
my position at the . . . urinal . . . OK, I said it, let's move
on. Then a guy came in behind me and went into the
stall (the only other place available then). Then I heard
a big slam (sounded like the toilet seat), followed by
a loud "OW!!!!!"
Then, as I was washing my hands, the guy came out of the
stall and said, "So THAT'S what those are for . . ."
I have NO idea what he meant.
Then, in the parking lot, two girls were having a very
loud, very graphic discussion about bloody underwear,
right down to a description of the offending stain.
O . . . K . . .
Awhile ago, I noticed that this one guy was at virtually
EVERY concert I attended. My wife and I could scan the
crowd and sure enough, we'd see the guy. He would
usually be rocking in his seat and giving the "devil horn"
sign with his right hand at weird moments (is there really
an appropriate moment?). Thing was, he'd be at rock shows.
He'd be at folk shows. Whatever. I told Mrs. L, "Maybe the
guy is stalking me" . . .
She said, "He probably thinks YOU'RE stalking HIM."
Which is when it hit me: all the times that I'm in a crowd
and thinking, "Wow, what a weird bunch . . . "
THOSE are my peers. In the words of Astro, "Ruh, roh!"
posted by Mr. L at 8:22 AM
3 Comments:
Oh, that is funny. In my case, guys who "stalk" me out of public transportation just work in the same office building I do, on a different floor for a different company, even if we were in the same trains for the last 35 miles, sitting across from each other, and he walked across town following me. Phew. It's pretty easy to tell the creeps from the normal people, but it takes a little radar training. My radar is better than a Doppler 4000 by now.
When I was 11, an older (19-year old) person offered me this wisdom: "Just remember: they're all crazy, and could do ANYTHING at ANY TIME."
He was talking about driving a car, but was he really that far off from the rest of life's experiences? ;)
Well the "Street Corner Jesus" types in midtown are pretty obviously psych patients off their meds, but let's just say I'm glad that I don't normally have to ride the subway (without an officemate or two in tow, to a client meeting).
Post a Comment
<< Home