My Musical Week Feb. 27

The continuing saga of what music travels with
me, making me what I am, defining the very
essence of my soul . . . uh huh . . .or is it just
new crap I'm checking out??

This week:

The Duhks - "The Duhks"
Chuck E. Weiss - "Old Souls & Wolf Tickets"
Fairport Convention - "Who Knows?"
The Hamsters - "Open All Hours"
Big Joe Turner - "Cherry Red"
Various - "Women of Rembetica"
Steve Vai - "Real Illusions"
Petra Haden - "...Sings The Who Sell Out"
The Who - "Sell Out" [for comparison and nostalgia!!]
Joe Williams - "Havin' a Good Time"

In One Hand....

Some people love this time of year . . . spending that
tax refund check on something wild and crazy, like
a vacation or a luxury item they wouldn't normally
buy for themselves.

I hate this time of year. My home and cars have sensors
that detect any excess cash flow into my bank account.
If an unusual deposit is detected, some immediate repair
will be necessary to eradicate the excess money. The
system works.

I just got my tax refund. Within a day or two, there was
a major toilet problem. We're a one-bathroom household.
Needless to say, the repair couldn't wait. The plumber
came and offered me some really stunning estimates
of different ways to approach the problem.

I think it was my tax refund, clogging up the "natural flow".
At least I don't have to worry about that burden anymore!

My Musical Week Feb 20

Since I'm a musician, there is probably some connection
between whatever music I'm exposed to and my general
state of mind. As an exercise in self-indulgence (as if this
whole blog is anything but), I'll try to note which CDs
are travelling in the car with me. The car is the only
place left where I can actually concentrate on
LISTENING to music. Maybe I'll be able to chart
my rise to power (or descent into madness) this
way . . .

Within the past week, in no particular order:

Bantam - "Suicide Tourist"
Rahsaan Roland Kirk - "Compliments of the Mysterious Phantom"
Rahsaan Roland Kirk - "The Man Who Cried Fire"
Deni Bonet - "Acoustic, OK?"
The Last Poets - "The Last Poets"
Various - "Pot, Spoon, Pipe & Jug - Jazz Vocal and Reefer Songs"
Five Style "Miniature Portraits"
Alexis Korner's Blues Incorporated - "R&B from The Marquee"
The Yardbirds - "BBC Sessions"

Out With The Old . . .

The first new neighbour was a friendly single mom
from some Nordic country . . . I never did find out
which one. She was OK. Her live-in boyfriend
was obsessively jealous though, and would
become belligerent if she talked to another male.
If she said "hi" to you, he'd come rushing out,
all alpha-male.

They had a habit of leaving the curtains open and having
sex in the living room (on the weekends when her ex
had the kids). Hey, whatever . . . I'm an insomniac and
my computer desk was set up next to my front window
long BEFORE they moved in, so I didn't feel as though
I was intruding or anything.

She dumped that guy, moved another boyfriend in, got
pregnant, and then she sold the house for $50k more than
she paid for it - all in less than one year. Up go the
property values.

The old guy across the street . . . I miss him . . . he used to
like playing with his snowblower, and would often have
all the heavy stuff the plows left in the driveways moved
before any of us even had our boots on. WHY did he have
to move?? Anyway, he was replaced by a guy who is nice
enough, except : he installed his stereo system in the GARAGE,
not the house. And when he wants to hear something, he
goes out to the garage, opens the overhead door, CRANKS
the stereo and the GOES BACK INTO THE HOUSE.
What the hell is that??? On weekends the music (reggae, rap or
hip-hop) starts around 8:30 a.m. or so.

The third house was originally occupied by a retired guy
who was obsessed with gardening. The front of his house,
the side yard, the back yard . . . all flowers, all well-groomed.
He was out there from dusk 'til dawn, it seemed. He'd stop
toiling to chat if you were out for a walk, but then he'd be
back at it as soon as the conversation ended. He certainly did
a great job at it. But, like the others, he saw an opportunity to
cash in when we fixed up our house.

The day the new guy moved in, there were seven vehicles out
there, in addition to the moving van (the house has a four-car
driveway, plus a one-car garage). The extra cars were parked
across the street on MY lawn. I figured, what the hell, they're
moving in, it's probably just friends helping and they'll be
cleared out later. Why hassle them?

Morning comes. There are still two cars parked on my lawn.
Hmm. I don't know. Maybe someone that helped stayed
overnight? Don't panic . . .

A week passes. OK. They bought a house with parking for 5,
but they own seven vehicles. They looked at the house, looked
across the street, and said to themselves, "WE' LL JUST PARK
ON THAT GUY'S YARD!". Nice. Well, on some level, they
had to have made that decision, right?

So, one day, I went out there and let them know. They stopped
parking on my yard, but one of their friends kept doing it every
time he visited them. If I was outside, he'd even pull up, park,
give me a snotty look, and go in the house.

Hey!

A couple of weeks ago Boston's Mayor Menino ordered the trash
collectors to pick up all the chairs people had put out to "save"
their shoveled spaces - maybe I could request they dump them
in my front yard !!!!

The Neighbourhood Old-Timers : The Point, Already!

O.K., I bored you with background information. But
I had an ulterior motive : when I bitch about my neighbours
in the future, you won't tell me I'm being too hard on
them.

So. . . we moved in. We fixed up the house. We ran out
of money. Anyone out there who has managed to
buy their first house probably knows what I'm
talking about. For every expense you plan, there
are 3 hidden ones.

Anyway, we finally got the outside of the house looking
pretty good. We replaced all the rotted siding and painted
the whole thing. The last thing to paint were the (fake)
window shutters. I took them down; we painted them.
The next day, when they were dry, I got up on the ladder
and screwed the shutters back onto the house. The final
"exterior" touch - for now, anyway. And a long way back
from where this house had been.

And I kid you not : as I was coming down off the ladder,
the guy across the street walked out into his front yard
and put up a "FOR SALE" sign. He smiled and waved at
me.

Within four months, all three houses across from us sold.
Apparently they couldn't sell when the view across from
them was an unkempt property. This one had been
deteriorating for nine years, but most seriously in the
previous year. But no more. On the plus side, they
all sold for substantially more than we paid, dragging
our value up with theirs. Taxes, too, though :(

Our quiet "directly across" neighbours all moved. Who moved in?
Oh, boy . . .

The Neighbourhood Old-Timers, Part 3 - The Sewage and The Bitch

Two days after we moved into the house,
the outflow pipe from our house to the
city sewer line backed up into our basement.

Fortunately, we hadn't been spending all that
much time on the toilet . . .

Still, we got a good backwash of sewage onto the
basement floor. And then we discovered that the
pipe to the street was no good, and would need
to be replaced, at a cost of about $7000.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA . . . . havin' fun now !

Sometime during the process of digging up the part
of the driveway that covered the pipe (you didn't think
it would be under the LAWN, did you??), a loud,
annoying woman showed up at our front door.

Actually, she showed up in the driveway first - I heard
this exchange:

"HI ! WHAT ARE YA DOIN' ?"
"I'm working, lady."
"DID SOMEONE BUY DA HOUSE ?"
"That would be the person I'm working for, I guess."
"SO WHATCHA DOIN' ?"
"Look . . . I have work to do . . . I can't talk to you."
"OHHH."

Then I heard the doorbell ring. I answered it. I knew I
shouldn't, but I did.

"HI. YOU MUST BE THE NEW PEOPLE."
"Yeah, hi."
"WELL, I JUST WANTED TO SAY WELCOME TO DA
NAYBAHOOD . . . AND YA FENCE IS LEANING . . .
YA GOTTA FIX IT."
"Um . . . well . . . ok, then, I'll take a look at it."
"OKAY. . .BYE."

And so it began. $7000 later, the sewer pipe was fixed -
but the shit had only just begun.

The Neighbourhood Old-Timers, Part 2 - Small Problems 1

One of the weirdest problems was a spider
infestestation. In NH we have something called
wolf spiders. Just our luck, that's the kind that
took over the house while nobody lived in it. They
don't weave webs, they tackle their prey - so they
aren't afraid of anything, including humans. They
ARE pretty quick. And when you try to squish 'em,
they rear up to defend themselves. Unfortunately, my
wife is allergic to bee venom (and spider venom is basically
the same thing). One of them got her, and she swelled
up like a balloon. She lost feeling on one side
of her face, in one of her hands . . . it was bad. We ended up
at the hospital half the night.

Now we're more vigilant about keeping
her epipen prescription up-to-date. And I'm more vigilant
about spraying the perimeter of the foundation from
spring through fall to keep the spiders out. Who knows
what THAT'S doing to us . . . ! It's got to be bad stuff if
they won't walk across it.

The Neighbourhood Old-Timers, Part 1 - Background

I put out the the trash late last night. I noticed
that nobody else had their trash out. I thought
for a minute . . . had there been a holiday
earlier this week? Is the trash pickup
delayed one day?

Then it hit me: no one else had put their
trash out because I hadn't put MY trash out.
I've become the "elder statesman" of my little
street in only three and a half years. They look
to ME for guidance (FOOLS !!!).

It wasn't always this way.

We moved into our house in June 2001.
At the time, the place was a real eyesore :
it hadn't been painted in at least 15 years,
the siding was falling apart, the grass was
uncut and the bushes were seriously overgrown
- like, over the windows.

The "across-the-street" neighbours were :
-- a retired couple
-- another retired couple
-- a couple from Trinidad with a young child

Woo hoo! A quiet neighbourhood!

The house had been vacant for almost a year. It had plenty
of problems, as you can imagine.

Still, after years of renting, it was great to finally own our own
place.

Any problems would pale in comparison to the crap we had
to deal with from the last two landlords we'd had (both
LAWYERS, if that tells you anything). At least we knew
this place was REALLY lead-free, since WE had it inspected
and WE didn't feel the need to lie to ourselves before we
moved in, thereby threatening the health of our child.
But, I digress . . .

Only small problems now . . .

Flake Fake

The snow never showed up. Neither did the
repairman. Go figure.

Flakes! Flakes!

No, not as in "snowflakes". Frank Zappa fans will
know what what I mean.

I'm talking about repairmen here. The lock on my door,
like all mechanical things that somehow give us protection
from "The Great Outdoors", has sensed that NOW would be
a good time to act up. NOW, since it's freezing outside.
NOW, since a snowstorm is on the way. Sure, I can still
lock and unlock the door. The process may take up to half
an hour, but it CAN be done.

That's OK. I've got other doors. Why bitch?

Well, I happen to like using this particular door. I've
developed an affinity for entering and exiting through it.
We have a relationship, dammit. And it's being ruined by
the malfunctioning lock.

Normally, the added steps to the other door wouldn't bother
me so much . . . but ask me tonight, after the snowstorm and
all the extra shoveling!

And so I wait for a "qualified locksmith" to arrive to fix the
problem. Because - the last time I attempted to fix this same
kind of lock, I WAS successful, but it took hours because I was
learning as I went along and I didn't have the right tools. I still
don't have the right tools, and this is a door to the OUTSIDE.
Dammit, I'm not gonna spend $100 in heating oil to save $75 on
a repair guy. If only it were summer, I'd probably be whacking
away at it all afternoon with a cold brew by my side, without
a care in the world . . . hey, maybe I'd even fix the door.

Had to go there . . . didn't I?

It's OK - It's a Fee!

I went to get my state car inspection sticker today.

FORTY-FIVE DOLLARS !

Well, at least it's not a tax, like in that evil ol'
Massachusetts.

"That's Too Many"

When we first moved into our house, my mother-in-law
sat at (what was then) our dining room table, eyeing
my collection of CDs with that 'mother-in-law look' that
tells you she disapproves - even if she hasn't said so yet.

"Problem?", I asked. I'm good that way.

"You've got too many CDs."

Really? How is that possible?

"They need to be moved to the basement."

It took about two weeks for the holes I bit through
my tongue to heal, but I said nothing.

OK. Maybe I have a slight audio jones. Let's take a look.
I'll just grab some random stuff.

Margareth Menezes, "Elegibo"
-- well, OK, I don't speak Portuguese so I've never understood
any of her lyrics. Does that make it wrong for me to own this and
two more of her CDs? Nah . . . they "sound" like cool songs . . .
let's move on . .

Yoko Ono, "Onobox"
-- hey, who DOESN'T need six CDs of Yoko?? I mean, come on.
Really.

"Nick Bougas Presents Celebrities at Their Worst"
-- tapes of Buddy Rich yelling at his band, a bandmember flipping out
on Ray Charles, celebs fluffing their lines, being precious . . .what
collection is complete without it?

"Suddenly 70s", various
-- wow. Seasons in the Sun, Billy Don't Be A Hero, Kung Fu Fighting,
Indian Reservation, Sylvia's Mother, Afternoon Delight -- ALL
ON THE SAME CD ?? You have to have this kind of thing, don't
you?

"Short Music for Short People", various
-- a collection of songs that are all about thirty seconds long. The
interesting thing about this CD is how much cussing the bands feel
is necessary when the song is so short!

"When Pigs Fly", various
-- Ani Difranco and Jackie Chan duet on "Incredible"?? Devo does
"Ohio"? "White Wedding" by Herman's Hermits? They're all here.
I couldn't pass this up, could I?

Karen Finley, "A Certain Level of Denial"
-- Karen, for those who don't know, is a performance artist who is
known for stripping naked and smearing yams and chocolate sauce
on herself. Well, there's more to it than that, but it's more fun to leave
it there! This CD didn't even come with a free Hershey's Kiss or
anything.

Derek & Clive, "Ad Nauseum"
-- Peter Cook and Dudley Moore were Derek & Clive. In the 80s, I made
my then-girlfriend buy this LP for me in London and she had to
schlep it all over Europe before bringing to me. It has a picture of a
plastic barf bag on the cover, half-filled with (I think) fake vomit. She
was so pleased with me. These guys also use the dreaded "C-word"
about every 10 seconds, making them decidedly female-unfriendly!
It would have disappointed my wife if I hadn't upgraded to CD fidelity
when it became available . . . right . . .

Juicy, "For the Ladies"
-- OK, I think this one actually might suck. They can ALMOST play
their instruments. I think. The "best" song on it is called, "Fuck You,
I'm Cool". How did this end up in my collection? I needed some
replacement CD cases and someone gave me 10 copies of this CD
and told me to "just throw the discs and inserts away". It's that good.
And still . . . it has a certain . . . something . . . or other.

Dry Branch Fire Squad, "Memories That Bless and Burn"
-- um . . . well . . . I found this, along with about 20 other bluegrass
CDs, in a trashbarrel outside my local record store. I've never listened
to it. I DON'T KNOW if it's any good or not . . .

Anyway, my CDs are still in the "dining room". It would take a whole
day just to move them anywhere. And the "dining room" is never used
for dining, because my wife's stuff is piled on the table. But for some
reason, that's OK !

[Update: Since I posted this, I've been informed that there's a slight
possibility that some of the stuff on the table is mine.]

The Miracle of Modern Medicine 3

It turns out that I had a head injury as a baby.
This probably comes as no real surprise to people
who know me.

What can be done about it now?

"uhh . . . we're not sure . . . take some pills . . . come back
twice a week . . . have a bunch of tests . . . "

Yeah, that sounds good. Up the dose. Woo hoo!