Feeling Irregulus

Today I went to a local planetarium with my son.

The presenter told the story of Regulus, the "honest
general". So honest, apparently, he was able to convince
his captors to allow him to leave captivity....because he
promised to return...which he did.

It was pointed out that the word "regulation" comes from
Regulus.

I mentioned to one of the teachers present that the lessons I
had learned were: a) Regulus' honesty was matched by his
stupidity, and b) perhaps the ancient Greeks were trying to
tell us that some rules are meant to be broken.

She said she wished I had shared that with the children.
Trouble maker....

"We Do This Because It's Fun"

I got a message yesterday that I have a "confirmed" gig on
Saturday August 22. Take a look at a calendar, folks...
by what mysterious process did this gig get "confirmed"??
My calendar says August 22 is a Tuesday.
I assume they meant THIS year...not several years down
the road!

I'm sure the red tape involved in clearing this up will take
a lot more time than the gig itself.

Calendars seem to be a big problem for people who book
musicians...especially in the fall, when purchasing the new
desk calendar for next year is put off until the last possible
moment - waiting for a sale at the office supply store, Maybe?!

Remember:
The music business is 95% business.....5% music.

Right the First Time

A bit of a rant today....

I just saw Michael Bolton on the "Ellen" show.
He's pushing his new album of songs originally
made famous by Frank Sinatra. Or maybe he's
making sure everyone knows he's with Nicolette
Sheridan, I'm not sure.

I'm not a huge Sinatra fan, but...weren't these
songs done right the FIRST time? Why make lame
attempts to recreate them??

The worst offenders in this category, in my opinion,
are the people who cover Jimi Hendrix songs. FORGET
IT!!! They were already done the only way they should
be done. Just last week, a drummer I worked with
mentioned the Derek and the Dominos version of "Little
Wing". His question was the same one I've heard for
years: "What's with the DA! DADADA! DADADA DA DAAAA! ???"

[if you know the original and this version, you know
what he meant!]

Thirty-five years or so have passed, and it STILL makes
no sense.

So, my advice is - unless someone does a crappy rendition
of a song with potential, LEAVE IT ALONE!!

[Final decision on all matters of taste will be made by
Mr. L, at least in this space. No refunds]

Here Comes The Flood

While it's not as dramatic as some of the other places around here,
this is a shot of the river near my house. Normally, I could stand
on the river-side of the submerged cement wall at the bottom of
the picture...and not get my feet wet....

Too Young, Too Soon

"What's the holdup?" asks Angus as he comes back into the club after
loading all his equipment into his car.

"He's saying goodbye to every last bill," said the drummer, affectionately
known as "Tape" - a nickname he earned due to his eating habits.
Sharks have to move continuously in order to breathe. Tape needs to
eat 24/7, or he loses weight.

Soon, every member of the band is mulling around, waiting for the
venue owner to hand out the money for the gig. Every piece of
equipment has been loaded. The 'idiot check' for stray cords and
accessories has already been done. Twice.

"Goodbye, Andrew. I hardly got to know you," the owner is overheard
saying to a $20 bill. " In another time, another place, maybe...."

His words trail off as the sadness of losing something so dear to him hits
home. And it's only the beginning.

"BEN!!! BEN!!! WHY?!? Oh, why...."

Now he's really breaking down. It's an open-drawer ceremony. The bills
look crisp. "You were too young, Alexander....too....young," he says, as
he counts out a $10 bill. "OH, GOD! You were a series H!!! SERIES H!!
You KNEW how much I love that! Didn't you? I hope you can still hear me."

"Large" - the band leader - shakes his head in disbelief as the owner wails
"Abe....remember the good times?? Why do you have to go?" to a $5 bill.

"You'd think the guy didn't make any money tonight," Large says.

Tape rolls his eyes. "I've been here before. He puts on this act no matter
how many customers were in the room. He just can't part with the money.
Look at him in there. COME ON, man, I want to get some chow before
Bill 'n' Bob's closes."

After what seems like hours, the owner steps out of the office and hands
the money to Large. Large has to give a little extra effort in order to pull
the cash from the owner's hand. Unable to contain his emotions, the
owner's eyes begin to well up with tears. Large shrugs it off, just looking
to finally get out the door.

Almost an hour after they should have been home, the band make
their way to their cars.

The owner retreats into his office and resumes his anguished cries.
"They didn't deserve to go like that. It's just not right...."
He stays up all night paying homage to his fallen friends.
His last act before going home is to put a candle in the window,
though deep down inside, he knows he will never see them again.

He whimpers quietly to himself: "...series H...."

Set 'em Straight Early

This notice came from my son's school today:

"Hat Day is Here!
Do you love wearing hats, but can't because of the school
rules? Well, now is your chance for you to wear your coolest
hat to school!
Support the track team by donating $1. In return, you get to
wear your favorite hat to school all day on Wednesday, May 10th."

OK....well, first of all, this reminds me of that old George Carlin
routine about his childhood church giving away sins as prizes - "if
your parish is number one in the paper drive....MEAT ON FRIDAY!!!"

The other troubling message it sends is that those with money can buy their
way out of the rules.

Oh. Right. What was I thinking?! Never mind!