My Stalker (and My Stalker v2.0)
I may have mentioned this before, I can't remember. So I'll
refresh.
There is a guy that I see at EVERY concert I go to, no matter
if it's folk, rock....whatever. He's always there. It got to be
something of a joke for awhile, then it got to be worrisome.
He's ALWAYS there.
You've seen this guy (or his brethren) at a concert: he's large,
sort of mango-shaped. He wears a bandana....and always
a concert T-shirt, usually dating back several years and often
(but not always) the band who is performing that night.
He also makes the "rock 'n' roll devil horn" sign
constantly during the concerts, often at inappropriate times
(IS there an appropriate time??). He will be just sitting
there and then, like an involuntary muscle spasm, up will
go the "horn".
The big problem for me was: this guy seems to like all the same
music that I do. And then Mrs. L pointed out, "You see him
at every show - maybe he thinks YOU'RE stalking HIM".
OK, then ....not funny!!!
So, we went to see Ian Anderson in Boston the other night.
Well, after going to our favourite restaurant in Chinatown...
where I finally (after over 20 years of going there) ordered
the beef with pickled vegetables. What the hell....20 years
of missing out on a great dish. Oh, well.
Anyway....Ian Anderson. Right. We walked in the gates,
and who's the first person we see? My stalker. Hanging
out in front of the ladies bathroom. How appropriate.
I actually overheard some of his conversation (HA! Who's
the stalker NOW, pal?? Eat that!!). Seems that he's
"a friend of a promoter"....so that explains why he goes to
so many shows. Although, it doesn't explain why they're
all the same shows *I* attend.
Here's the big twist, though: we got to our seats, and he
WASN'T sitting two or three rows in front of us this time
(as usual). This time, there was a LARGE CLONE of
him sitting three seats over from us! The same look -
bandana, concert T, (larger) mango shape. And the
SAME uncontrollable hand motion (the distinction being
that this new guy preferred the "pointing index finger" to
the "rock 'n' roll devil horn" sign). For some reason, the
two rows in front of us were completely empty....so
of course, halfway through the show, Clone Stalker
moves to the row in front of us, one seat to my right.
He wasn't "in front of" me, but his left arm was, as he
index-fingered the band wildly.
Stalker v2.0.....bigger, "better".....and probably at
every future show I attend.
refresh.
There is a guy that I see at EVERY concert I go to, no matter
if it's folk, rock....whatever. He's always there. It got to be
something of a joke for awhile, then it got to be worrisome.
He's ALWAYS there.
You've seen this guy (or his brethren) at a concert: he's large,
sort of mango-shaped. He wears a bandana....and always
a concert T-shirt, usually dating back several years and often
(but not always) the band who is performing that night.
He also makes the "rock 'n' roll devil horn" sign
constantly during the concerts, often at inappropriate times
(IS there an appropriate time??). He will be just sitting
there and then, like an involuntary muscle spasm, up will
go the "horn".
The big problem for me was: this guy seems to like all the same
music that I do. And then Mrs. L pointed out, "You see him
at every show - maybe he thinks YOU'RE stalking HIM".
OK, then ....not funny!!!
So, we went to see Ian Anderson in Boston the other night.
Well, after going to our favourite restaurant in Chinatown...
where I finally (after over 20 years of going there) ordered
the beef with pickled vegetables. What the hell....20 years
of missing out on a great dish. Oh, well.
Anyway....Ian Anderson. Right. We walked in the gates,
and who's the first person we see? My stalker. Hanging
out in front of the ladies bathroom. How appropriate.
I actually overheard some of his conversation (HA! Who's
the stalker NOW, pal?? Eat that!!). Seems that he's
"a friend of a promoter"....so that explains why he goes to
so many shows. Although, it doesn't explain why they're
all the same shows *I* attend.
Here's the big twist, though: we got to our seats, and he
WASN'T sitting two or three rows in front of us this time
(as usual). This time, there was a LARGE CLONE of
him sitting three seats over from us! The same look -
bandana, concert T, (larger) mango shape. And the
SAME uncontrollable hand motion (the distinction being
that this new guy preferred the "pointing index finger" to
the "rock 'n' roll devil horn" sign). For some reason, the
two rows in front of us were completely empty....so
of course, halfway through the show, Clone Stalker
moves to the row in front of us, one seat to my right.
He wasn't "in front of" me, but his left arm was, as he
index-fingered the band wildly.
Stalker v2.0.....bigger, "better".....and probably at
every future show I attend.
posted by Mr. L at 12:49 PM
1 Comments:
Wo, this is way too strange. This has happened to me but I totally erased it from my mind. I'm having a hard time remembering who the dude was, even. But it's coming back. No, it wasn't that same kind of dude you are stalked by/stalking. He's back in NY. If he shows up here in Florida, I'm gonna have him over for dinner just to break the spell or something.
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